The downfalls come when he just isn't home much, like last week. He picked up some extra shifts, which is a huge blessing financially, so I try not to complain. But the hardest part is when I have had a hard day (which happened a couple of times last week :( and all I wanted was to talk to him. I talk to his voicemail a lot at Dekalb and if I do get him about 1/2 way through that crazy bell goes off. Then I start the struggle in my head of calling someone else just to be "emotional", deal with it myself, or talk to the Lord for a little while. Last week that bell went off a lot...I think the Lord was trying to tell me something. My control personality likes to "fix" things and I am learning that somethings are only fixable with God.
By the end of a couple of 48 shifts my patience can run a little thin. I love that Hubby can see that and will step in with the kiddos just when I need it. I know other parents who are single or whose husbands are gone a lot can relate to having to be the disciplinarian and the comforter. Some days are definitely harder than others.
Truthfully though, the joys in firefighting for us are huge and outweigh all the struggles. We know that we know that Hubby is where he is supposed to be. He loves his job and doing what he does everyday. I know that being in the Lord's will is worth all the struggles to us. I love my husbands heart and how much he cares for people. He NEVER lets his job be an excuse for family time...just please excuse him if he is a little grumpy from no sleep the day after a shift. (We have literally apologized to people in advance :) Our good friends totally get it...some have let him sleep on the couch when we come over for dinner, ha)
His schedule can also be a benefit when he is off random days during the week...family fun time, he gets to help with homeschool (and is awesome at it!) and I can look at my color coded schedule and tell you what we will be doing 6 months from now. I know that the Lord calls us all to something different. Our family truly feels called to be a fire family. The Lord is always showing me something new and this week I think He has been showing me, that just as people don't always get our life 100%, I don't always get others either. I am working on it...I love how the Lord weaves lives together to challenge each other and grow together.
My sweet husband made me this bracelet for me this week and it couldn't have come at a better time. He sells them on his etsy shop (yes he has an etsy shop, ha). They are made from fire hose and I love it! It is such a blessing and reminder that he is always supporting me, even if he isn't there. I asked him to put Proverbs 3:5-6 on the inside.